Politeness: How To Allow You to Be Yourself While Allow Others To Be Themselves

Updated April 10, 2020

One day, I asked someone, “What do you pray for?”

She said, “I ask God to help me be polite and nice to people.”

While we were in her suburban house located 300 feet from a lake, I admonished her and told her that was not a good prayer topic and said, “What if one day you had to fire someone, which may not be a pleasant and nice experience for that person?”

Don’t confuse politeness with love. One may be doing things to be polite out of a fear of not insulting someone or out of fear of not making mistakes. So the overall feeling is of fear

One is generating fear! Not love. One can be cooking, cleaning, and picking up kids from school and still, underneath, feel fear of doing the wrong things. 

The vibrational energy one is carrying when performing an act of service is more important than the actual act itself.

How lovingly is one doing something? What is the underlying feeling?

How lovingly is one doing something? What is the underlying feeling? Otherwise, overall feelings of fear take over of any supposed “good” act.

It’s incredible how so many are adamant about how polite others should act that. I’ll call them the “politeness police.” These same people, when taken to the extreme, are deep down afraid and in fear. Of course, these people would be fearful. They are not easy going, and they do not allow people to be themselves. They hold others to their type of high standard of how others should behave and live their lives. 

When You Need to Choose One or the Other

Depending on the situation, having high standards is needed. However, in other cases, being forgiving is more critical. To determine if you want to “be right” or “be happy,” check out this blog:

Thoughts and Feelings Reality Check: A Self-Help Technique


Emy Louie was born in Hong Kong, was raised in Hawai’i and is fluent in Cantonese—the language of Hong Kong.  Her parents were born in Guangzhou, China. They relocated to Hong Kong during the 1950’s, and then to Hawai’i. Since the early 1970’s, Emy has made a handful of visits to Hong Kong and visited Hawaiʻi annually.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s